testing   

In Court

                                 

                              

In Court



 



by


Gary DeVaney


Scenario




 

Judge: Mr. Believer Defendant, you are accused of selling tainted meat to a family that resulted in two dead and oneterminally ill. How do you plead?


Defendant: Innocent, your honor.


Judge: Do you wish to testify on you own behalf?


Defendant: Yes, your honor.


Judge: Swear him in.


Defendant: Your honor, if you swear me in on this here Bible, I would like it to show in the record that it was done.





 


Sworn In On The Bible?





Judge: Granted, because I believe in God; and in my court, you will respect God, country, me and my court. Did you sell this family meat?


Defendant: Sir, because you believe in God, I will tell you the facts. Yes, your honor.


Judge: Where did you get the meat?


Defendant: I found it dead in the back woods, your honor.


Judge: Describe it’s condition.


Defendant: Well, your honor, it stank a little and had a few maggots that I scrapped off, but, I knew it would be ok.

Judge: In your defense what evidence do you have to prove that you are innocent?


Defendant: Well, your honor, turn to this very King James Bible you swore me in on to Deuteronomy 14:21.God directed: “Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself, thou shalt give it or sell it to a stranger to eat.” God told me to sell to a strangersome rancid meat. If he gets sick or dies, it’s God’s will, not mine. I was just following God’s Biblical orders. Judge, if you find me guilty, and, if you believe in the Bible; you must find God guilty too.





 


Don’t Eat An Animal That Died On Its Own

 

Case dismissed…

 






“You’re Taking It Out Of Context!”

Believer’s Defense Tactics

 

Scenario:


Judge: Ok, accused, tell your story.


Accused: Well judge, I broke into the place and went over and smashed the jewelry case and took the jewels. Then, I destroyed some furniture, blew open the safe, shot the maid, took the money, smoked some crack cocaine and went to a movie.




 








 

Judge: You shot the maid?





 


                                                I Shot The Maid





 

Accused: Judge, you’re taking it out of context.


Judge: This court has determined that the fact you shot the maid has a context and an importance of it’s own. You are found guilty by your own admission.





 


Accountable Time





 

Questions? Comments?


gary@gdevaney.com